WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
