that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
it's like heaven, but drunker
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
