You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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