I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
