Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
