For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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