VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
