oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
