It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I am one with the molecules
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
