she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
