Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
