Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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