I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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