Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
