Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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