Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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