I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
