My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
this will be a night to untag.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize