no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
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