Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
