I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize