Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
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It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
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Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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