i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You dont lie about slip and slides
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Randomize
