Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
