what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
And then he peed in my hair
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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