I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
