she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
