Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
