So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
nutella sex= disaster
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize