He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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