I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
