Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
