dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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