why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
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You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
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HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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