So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
