You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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