Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
