she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
NoShamevember. You game?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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