Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
barbara walters just said penis...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
