Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
