i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
