I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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