dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
