My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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