I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
