shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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