hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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