I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize