this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
