Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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