Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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