I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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