its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
