So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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