saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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