I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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