I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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