Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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