Your tits are I can't wait for
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
