I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
did you just send me my own nude
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
