I want to have your abortion
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
