yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Randomize
