I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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