Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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