I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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