we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
